Thursday, October 11, 2007

sea change

Full fathom five thy father lies
Of his bones are coral made
Those are pearls that were his eyes
Nothing of him that doth fade
But doth suffer a sea-change
Into something rich and strange.

--William Shakespeare, The Tempest

. . . well, it is that time of year again when everything changes for me. I don't mean just some leaves falling and the shift to more riding inside. I mean major life upheaval. As much as I take solace in life's little rituals in the short-term, I am someone who thrives on change. A weird synergy has occurred in the past month, I am sleeping less, eating less, the mind is buzzing and creative winds are blowing. New people have entered into my life and some have left, suddenly, like a cloud of negative energy dissipating as a door is slammed shut. good riddance.

I toss and turn at night in a fitful attempt at sleep, that part sucks, but luckily there are herbs, and as a last resort, medication. I have several parties interested in my business, and it looks like I will have the new website up soon. That means more work and less time for fun and training, but priorities have to change . . . I got a new perspective the other day on my relationship with my friends, and I have been thinking about it a lot: still mulling it over, but it will open up many doors if I can get my stubborn brain around it. It is a change of outlook, utterly.

I was really bummed out in cycling class yesterday, and as I struggled trying to hit my zones I realized that I had no desire to be in a class, staring at a power meter with all of its silent judgment of me and my cycling prowess. f@ that, I have had enough. So I told Coach Mike I wanted to take a month off from class. The next day I emailed that I was going to do a recovery ride and he said he wanted me off the bike for 10 days. The first thing my administrative assistant did when when heard that was ask to immediately go on vacation.
be careful what you ask for you witch

So my body and mind will get a rest from my relentless drive to succeed and I can devote more time and energy to the new urgent happenings taking wing at 3434. As it has at many times throughout my life, something good has come about from the upheaval of the past 4 weeks. Thank god for Madison, Gryphon and Chloe, their brown eyes saw my distress and never failed to offer me a paw or muzzle when I really needed it.

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