primum non nocere
our meeting: an anomaly as
spring collided with summer
we touched; the universe shifted, trembled
the iatrogenic artifact of my incised flesh:
this fissure which cracked my resolve
and weakened me towards you
our molecules colliding in leaden air
the perfume of opium opening me,
a flower, I gazed up from your arms.
tears watered the newly planted device
that clumsily repairs the damage of our tortured year.
a little shock and my atrium and ventricle
beat faster, faster
time yawned back towards the present,
you retreat to your newly arranged life
new cast, state-of-the-art soundtrack
your soundboard adjusted toward a perfect pitch
you are free of the darkness, finally.
we press foreheads and you are gone
the opium vaporized, the pain aggrandized
I woke to the death cry of some unknown beast
tonight I am on top of old city, lights
like glass beads strewn from pandoras box
wind. heat. echoes. chimes.
your ghost swirls around me, won’t let me forget
your shifting of principles
your casting of history
your bright energy burning beyond your physical vessel
scarring me again, still I cling to it
the good doctor amputated the limb
the cut was clean, efficient
but I was not sufficiently sedated;
the case was incomplete.
for the pain remains from my phantom reach
I need the limb back, not the idea of a limb
to release my grip
to let you go